I thought everything was okay. I guess I've given myself too much credit lately. To think that I was okay. I feel like shit. I think my 'cold' has taken a turn for the worse. I think it's bronchitis now...or worse...pnemonia. Oh well. Can't do anything about until next week. I was fine today. Atleast I thought I was. I've been a little touchy today. But not more than usual. Or so I thouhgt. I just started crying a little while ago. I honestly don't know why. I told him it was because he wanted to go out for the first time in over a month...and I didn't. I don't feel up to it. But then I told him that I did. Got dressed after I took a shower. And then...he heard me coughing and decided that he didn't feel like it anymore. And I started crying. I can feel it coming on. I had to control myself. Imagine me. A 20 year old crying for no reason. Like a blubbering idiot. Fuck. I feel so stupid. I can feel it coming on...a fucking anxiety attack. All these thoughts I'm fighting back. All these stupid feelings. They're not really there...they're just in my fucked up head...not really there. Dammit. I gotta go lay down. I haven't gotten an 'attack' in such a long time...I don't think I could handle one...not right now. Fuck it. I'm gone.